"I Remember When" -poem

the scent
of Chocolate chip cookies wafting through the air
my nostrils tingle, tongue coated as I salivate.
My greedy guiltless youth yearning for
promises of gooey dough and liquid chocolate.
lavender,
my mother's straw-gold hair softly luminescent
the euphoric charm that calms spastic cells;
my mother's violet presence, faded as a dream.
smoke, heavy and damp
mixed with flame and winter.
the smell of woods in August coats my nostrils
with its musk of animals and sweat,
leather newly tanned, the fertile earth and rotting trees.
I lay within the tee-pee, choked by rabbit skins and deer.
we play with skins of weasels, give them names and dramas.
marshmallows puffing in the fire, graham crackers crisping,
Hershey's chocolate between.
always smelling like a mix of sweetened bread, cooked candy, and the company of friends.
Heather-Feather has her bare feet
buried in the damp earth by the fire.
She speaks of when her house burnt down and only
eats marshmallows black.
Feathers and the glint of turquoise rings
back when my fingers were like tendrils of thick rope
not woman flesh and bone.
an old Native pretending
as a tribesman, telling me about the
Cherokee, the Sioux, and the things that children hear.
wet dog, the time when I tried kibble, back when
I didn't mind saliva
all
over
my face.
Pastel dye of Easter eggs, the scent seeping into skin,
rabbits, morning hunts, and
painting innocence on empty, fragile things.
these times when I thought 17 was womanhood,
my socks mismatched with consistency and flair,
and never said, “I remember when”