Quichotte, Broken Dreams, and Future Plans

it's been a long trip.
i've been broken many times, and I'm learning how one can build themselves up again.
the latest heartbreak was my dreams, dashed before me.
a dream of studying music, living in vienna, getting a job, keeping my beautiful apartment, and being an opera singer. taking my life seriously, and having focus. but I didn't make it into the final cut for the konservatorium. not this time, at least.
and now I don't know what I want. I don't know what the path I should follow is.
here I am... left without any clear path, and yet...

I'm picking up the pieces.

and now, as I hear music of some random german I was foolish enough to consider a friend, I remember being hurt... but I can't help but yearn to make music with him again. I can't help but wish that he'd forget the past.

he should have known better than to trust a broken hearted woman. but no one knows to do that. not even me.

and now, I see my past mirrored to me in all the people from my home; all the actions, the flirtations, the reactions, and the words.
even the way we touch, move, talk...look another. it's a different world than In germany, or vienna.
now I understand; we don't make sense to eachother; confusion is bound to happen.


and I never made sense to anyone.

well, save a few...

I'll find a way to life.
but, music save my soul. save my soul before I am broken once more. lift me up before i fall again. keep my flying.