What A World Lays Beyond Us! -Poem

I want to be TOO beautiful.
I want to regain the Goddess status.
I want to hold my head high.
I want it all I want it all and God I don't need any of it.
I want to hypnotize.
I don't care to rationalize.
I want clarity. I want it now.
I want to dance and slow down time.
i want to be part of the natural rythm.
i AM the natural rythm of things.

MUSIC IS THE HEART OF ALL THINGS. WE WANT TO BE LIKE A GOD AND SOAK OF UP THE SUN. BUT WE LOST CONTROL OF IT.
oh that spinning in the solar system, i don't want to be the center unless all of those celestial poi-balls are connected by flaming chains to my fingers and i will dance dance DANCE until I am the motion that they are and they are the motion that I am.

oh nothing is seperate.
but I am Goddess. and you are Goddess.

i don't want to be afraid of this power any more.
it rouges my skin and hides in a sultry sway of my hip. OH GOD what worship can there be to free me from such fears?
I don't try.
not at all. its simply who i am.
what right of passage have I endured? -to be this.
aye, gods! I am your servant! oh the deadliest and most reverent power.
one ancient saint has called women 'the door to hell' but he didn't look to Divine Mother for aid in such loss of his own will.
ah... and he did not know my kind.
how easy! I realize, to bring them together. WHAT POWER THEY'D HAVE IN EACHOTHER! (elliot, annabelle, raul, dhyan, eddie, anil, kunal, marya, ...)
oh beauty... it is this majestic thing with eyes seeing everything, and loving it all.
like reclaiming a crown.

i saw it all.
i saw the palace in the sky, the sunlight illuminating.
i saw the ladders climbing up. this is the Dynasty of Illumination. and i want us all to be the royal court. ah... and all to be the queens and kings of self-realization.

Pleidians claim that only half the population of humans are actually unmixed, untainted breeds.
but that leaves more than half that are already in the midst of transformation.
do you understand, at all?
what secrets lie within our blood!
the city of angels, bustling with filth covered saints!
we are here, the most unusual place... the perfect hiding; within your very selves.


hahah! what a world lays beyond us!

Poem for Kunal

For Octobod

like an angel, I wanna watch over you.
but i've been havin', some troubles comin' too.
I want to take you, and keep you far from Time. but it would be a lie.
and someday I'll know you, and you will see me there. like an angel, I've allways been aware.
it's just the moment, the moment, that breaks us in half.
so we forget, we forget... our past.

(it'd be sweeter, if you could hear it.)
but the rain is comin' down too hard..
and all my memories are washed up your yard.
and your face is just a stoplight I see.
I'm allways in a rush to speed through the green.
but it's the young green spring that I miss the most! the times when we were lovers on the coast.
and it's the only thing that keeps that youth alive! -the fact that no memories need survive.

The Power of "No"

how can one be honest, and sweet?

i'm getting a name for being sweet. but i find it hard to say "no". it is something i seldom say, for i succumb in good spirits or in good nature or in forgiveness and compassion to so much -or at least, i have before.

but now, when i say "no" -so rarely uttered- i mean it. i want to use it as a strong weapon to stop someone in their path.

"No."

i want it to break their thoughts into a shattered idea, easily swept away by the force of my breath uttering those words of

"No."

and as they look me in the eye, I don't want disgust, I don't want to be blown-off, I don't want defiance or a smart-ass comment. I want Respect.

Respect that I can stand up for myself and clearly, cleanly, strongly and with control utter a simple one-syllable, two-letter command;

"No."

Honor that I know that my body, my mind, my actions are my own and I decide when, how, and where to use it. And as they look at me they see not a little girl, or a play-thing, or a "chica" or a "Hyna" or a "bitch". I want to see a look of respect so clear and defined on their face that they themselves regain their composure and realize they were fool enough to cross a line -but they have learned now, where that line is- and they have enough respect for themselves not to push me farther.

and this "No" that I speak of, it will not make them hate me but it may make them leave me, it will not gaurantee they like me but it may make them see me, and I will have the strength and self-worth to be okay with either outcome. Because I know that if they step back and see me as an equal, they are worthy of any "Yes" I may later give. but if they are a fool and cross that line, then they are not worth any of my time and I'd sooner never see them again than risk what that disrespect will do.

Because I know that that "No" makes me stronger. and the more I become familiar and comfortable in using it, the less it will need to be used.

-sincerely, with love and respect, Bryn Cartwright